Wednesday July 4th, 2007 - Unindependence day

First thing this morning, the nurse is in the room delivering breakfast and taking the vitals. This is one of our favorite nurses and we both like talking with her about her job. Today she said that we were fortunate to be having a little boy. She said that when babies are born premature (This crazy lady still thinks we can’t make it), the not all babies are created the same. She mentioned that black boys tend to do the best, and that white boys tend to do the worst, with girls of either race somewhere in between. She said that it didn’t have to do with any reason that she knew about but that typically that’s the way things end up usually when it comes to preemies. I didn’t appreciate this nurse having to involve race in what was a blatant lie, but I realized that she was doing it to make us feel better. Later on I learned that she was actually telling the truth. When learning about micro preemies I learned that many caretakers actually use a term WWB – wimpy white boy. You won’t find it on a medical chart or text but typically white boys, particularly ones that are part of multiples, respond the worst to treatments. Who knew?

I understand why the hospital put little decorations with the food to celebrate the holiday, but they need to look at this from our perspective. First of all, they are reminding us that we are essentially missing the holiday. In-patients aren't going anywhere and in our case in particular, the patient will walk 5 steps today if at all. It's like going out of your way to remind people they are missing thanksgiving by serving them turkey loaf. Second, of all holidays that symbolize the exact opposite of what she is experiencing – Independence day? Let's just say we are totally dependent today. The closest we get to celebrating the holiday is when she gets a hamburger for lunch. It wasn't very appetizing.

I also see the doctor that day and ask him about that bulletin board I saw with the graduates. He explains that babies are judged based on their gestation not their size. For example it is common in the case of multiples for them to be of a smaller size, but be more developed. That means if triplets are all born weighing less than a pound but at 25 weeks they have a better chance than a baby weighing a pound and a half at 22 weeks. He compared the lungs to a car engine. A Honda Civic engine that’s fully built works better than a locomotive with half the parts missing. Another factor is that the Daytona NICU does not have the state of the art machines right now. Little babies need very very special equipment that is very expensive. Daytona may have had some of that in the past, but today they don’t. Daytona has the equipment to attempt to stabilize a baby at 22 weeks and 5 days, but all they can do is make the attempt. Our best choice is a level 1 NICU, and none of the local ones will take us this early.

Soon after lunch we get a visitor from the mama Ali’s job. She’s one of our friends and they haven’t seen each other in a week. It's great to have visitors. We are great friends with her family and we enjoy hearing family talk How the kids are doing. How the husband is doing. Ordinarily I would just go off with Simon and let them talk, but Simon is watching the kids and I am not going anywhere this afternoon. I take that back. I do run down to the cafeteria the get lunch They were serving the normal July 4th stuff, but in the end I'm just not that hungry. I'm not worn down or sad, just not in a celebration mood. It's like working on Thanksgiving. Leftover turkey sandwiches are not the real thing.

The rest of the day is actually pretty fun. The girls are acting like one of them isn't lying in bed wearing a hospital gown. For the first time in days I get to make some progress on the book I'm reading. Another day down, and about 99 to go. Even though there are no fireworks for me this year I walk out of the hospital with John Sousa playing in my head. We are going to make it to the end of the pregnancy.