Thursday July 5th, 2007

In life I find some days are better than others. Sometimes I wake up on Monday and it’s going to be a great day. A week later I wake up on Monday and it’s going to be a terrible day. When I walk into the hospital room today, there might as well be a rain cloud in the room. The mama Ali is in a bad mood. She has been eating bland food for 7 days. I’ve tried bringing in outside food, but your favorite take out doesn’t taste the same when you are upside down. She has had an IV inserted somewhere in her body all that time, and they frequently move it around. I think the IVs are the worst for her. She naturally hates needles and inserting an IV has started to sound like a bad sitcom. The first nurse comes in and for whatever reason has to move the IV to the other arm. That nurse fails. Then they call in the senior nurse. The senior nurse usually has the most experience and knowledge of the job. The senior nurse is usually an older person with a less steady hand. This fails as well. Then they call the assistant to the anesthesiologist. The assistant is usually busy. All told moving the IV around can take up to 20 minutes.

On top of all that is the fact that the mama Ali is a fundamentally private woman. She is a private woman who hasn’t worn anything other than a hospital gown since being admitted. A private woman who has had relative strangers see parts of her body they were never supposed to see. Back in the day we would watch those reality birth shows on TV and she would always comment that there were always too many people standing at the foot of the bed. Now she has random people checking down there for various reasons on a daily basis. Even basic hygiene is a challenge. She can’t wash her hands so she just puts layers of sanitizer on top of layers. She can’t do her own hair and has to rely on family. Her hair has not and will not be washed at all in the hospital. Try brushing your teeth while lying upside down in bed everyday.

Today she looks like she’s ready to break. She isn’t mad at anyone, but she would like to just be able to sit next to the window and look outside. My job this evening is to reassure her. I think it will be easy. She has gone 7 days when the doctors thought she would not be able to last 3. We’re in a hospital where they can save the baby if she goes into labor. I try to get her to realize that if we have already lasted 7 days then logically we must be able to last another 7 weeks (I have really started to believe that). The baby is healthy and being checked by doctors everyday. However, it doesn’t help as much as I thought. She’s not interested in TV, or reading, or computers. She doesn’t ever complain but I know that what she needs is a shower and a pair of underwear. As I walk out of the hospital that night, the nurse can tell I’m in a down mood and asks if I am OK. I simply answer, “No.” and walk out to the parking lot.