This has been such a trying time, something I could have never imagined / and never thought of. To me the worst would have been trying to get pregnant and not succeding or having a miscarriage. And then my whole life changed on June 29. And so many things happened. I saw strength and support in so many, I felt love from so many. Love and support that has not stopped that I have been amazed/ truly amazed. I have faith and I always have. I used to go to church and have not in a long time, but I still have faith that Someone is watching over me and guiding my life. I had no idea that I would be a micro preemie mom or have a baby in the NICU that I didn't hold until he was a month old, and until recently still felt odd having to ask the nurses if I could hold him and more often than not was told "no, today isn't a good day". Can you imagine? I know some of you can and for all of the above... There are no words, to say how much you all mean to me. Starting with Big Ali, he has shown courage and compassion that still carries us through the good and bad days, my parents showed me and are showing me still what being a parent really means. My other family, friends, blog friends, NICU parents and people who pray for us that we don't even know (can you imagine that). There are no words that fully say how much I thank you all for everything you have done, said and prayed. My family is so blessed and my son is a mircale that I could have never imagened.
Big Ali has said, we now look a few days in the future and we do, but I am still afraid of the roller coaster. Because we are still on the ride. We could go down at any time and that really scares me. But, we have had such a great last 2 weeks that I am happy and I try to stay prayed up and live in this happy moment. BTW, we just learned that he has done two of his personal best things today. We feed him his bottle, for our first time and he took the whole thing, 33ml or more than one ounce. AND... he now weighs 1725 grams, 3 pounds 13 ounces. We are so happy.
So this now ends my first blog entry, and I may do more so thanks to all that voted and thanks to all that read Jordan's Journey. I hope that what Big Ali has done with this will be an inspiration to other micro preemie parents like the ones we have met on their blogs and our fellow NICU parents from our hospital.
There just are no words...
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4 comments:
Mama Ali . . . that was beautiful. That's all I can say. Beautiful, just like you.
Thank you for sharing. Writing helped me so much while S&E were in the NICU, and it still helps today as you can see by how much I blog. Reading blogs of people who had gone through what we were going through made me feel less alone, especially since for 3 out of the 4 months my kiddos were the most critical in the entire NICU. There just weren't any 23 weekers. In fact, there were no 23 weekers that survived and made it up to the NICU in the 122 days we were there. Jordan has made it so far already, and although it is true that the "roller coaster ride" isn't over, you can have comfort knowing that we are thinking of you/praying for you and wishing that you bring Jordan home soon.
Mama Ali...what to say? Thank You. I can but can't imagine how...life changing the whole situation is...And please don't get upset- I know I don't know the reality of your situation in the same way, but at the basic emotional level, I can imagine that no one expects to begin motherhood in the NICU...not to put it lightly, but that's gotta suck! Like, big time suck! For what you have been through so far, I already consider you a phenomenal Mom. More than that, thank you for being Big Ali's rock: he's not the only one showing courage. Please keep praying, it really does work.
Wow, mama Ali, you are a writer from the heart!! Beautiful!!! We hope to hear more from you...
I am reading 'Preemie Parents' by Lisa McDermott-Perez now and I wish I could have read it while Michael was in the NICU. It might help you cope with things...
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